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Who has never fallen down before? Who has never felt bad and just want to avoid everything? Who has never been hurt and felt like the most unfortunate and undeserving person in the whole wide world?
Winners always go back up again no matter how tough and hard it is. Because they have strong belief in their mind that they deserve and they will.
This video is truly AMAZING!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
You are What You think
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Which came first, the depression or the pessimistic thoughts? I can't answer the first question, but the answer to the latter may surprise you.
In many cases, depression actually is the result of habitual negative thoughts. When bad things happen, we begin chastising ourselves with thoughts such as: I'm no good, I'm a total failure or Nothing ever goes my way. Our feelings follow what we are thinking, and negative thoughts like these can send us spiraling down into depression.
This concept is the guiding principle behind cognitive therapy, a type of psychotherapy developed by psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck in the 1960s. If we think something often enough, we begin to believe it's true and our feelings match what we are thinking about ourselves. To conquer depression, we must stop those automatic negative thoughts and replace them with more positive, truthful ones. By nipping these thoughts in the bud, we can halt depression before it even starts.
Cognitive therapy is directed at 10 common cognitive distortions, or faulty thought patterns, that send us into depression. See if you recognize yourself in any of these.
- All-or-Nothing Thinking: John recently applied for a promotion in his firm. The job went to another employee with more experience. John wanted this job badly and now feels that he will never be promoted. He feels that he is a total failure in his career.
- Overgeneralization: Linda is lonely and often spends most of her time at home. Her friends sometimes ask her to come out for dinner and meet new people. Linda feels that that is it useless to try to meet people. No one really could like her. People are all mean and superficial anyway.
- Mental Filter: Mary is having a bad day. As she drives home, a kind gentleman waves her to go ahead of him as she merges into traffic. Later in her trip, another driver cuts her off. She grumbles to herself that there are nothing but rude and insensitive people in her city.
- Disqualifying the Positive: Rhonda just had her portrait made. Her friend tells her how beautiful she looks. Rhonda brushes aside the compliment by saying that the photographer must have touched up the picture. She never looks that good in real life, she thinks.
- Jumping to Conclusions: Chuck is waiting for his date at a restaurant. She's now 20 minutes late. Chuck laments to himself that he must have done something wrong and now she has stood him up. Meanwhile, across town, his date is stuck in traffic.
- Magnification and Minimization: Scott is playing football. He bungles a play that he's been practicing for weeks. He later scores the winning touchdown. His teammates compliment him. He tells them he should have played better; the touchdown was just dumb luck.
- Emotional Reasoning: Laura looks around her untidy house and feels overwhelmed by the prospect of cleaning. She feels that it's hopeless to even try to clean.
- Should Statements: David is sitting in his doctor's waiting room. His doctor is running late. David sits stewing, thinking, "With how much I'm paying him, he should be on time. He ought to have more consideration." He ends up feeling bitter and resentful.
- Labeling and Mislabeling: Donna just cheated on her diet. I'm a fat, lazy pig, she thinks.
- Personalization: Jean's son is doing poorly in school. She feels that she must be a bad mother. She feels that it's all her fault that he isn't studying.
If you recognize any of these behaviors in yourself, then you're halfway there. Here's a homework assignment for you: Over the next few weeks, monitor the self-defeating ways in which you respond to situations. Practice recognizing your automatic responses. Now, we will take each of the above cognitive distortions and discuss some powerful coping strategies that will help you dispel the blues before they even start.
All-or-Nothing Thinking:
John recently applied for a promotion in his firm. The job went to another employee with more experience. John wanted this job very badly and now feels that he will never be promoted. He feels that he is a total failure in his career.
This type of thinking is characterized by absolute terms like always, never, and forever. Few situations are ever this absolute. There are generally gray areas. Eliminate these absolute terms from your vocabulary except for the cases where they truly apply. Look for a more accurate description of the situation. Here's an example of self-talk that John could have used to cope with not getting that promotion:
"I wanted this job a lot, but it went to someone with more experience. This is disappointing to me, but it doesn't mean I'm not a good employee. Other opportunities will be available in the future. I'll keep working on my skills so that I'll be ready for them when they arrive. This one setback does not mean my career is over. Overall, I have excelled in my work."
Overgeneralization:
Linda is lonely and often spends most of her time at home. Her friends sometimes ask her to come out for dinner and meet new people. Linda feels that that is it useless to try to meet people. No one really could like her. People are all mean and superficial anyway.
When one overgeneralizes, one takes an isolated case or cases and assumes that all others are the same. Are people really all mean and superficial and could never like her? What about her friends who are trying to get her to go out? Obviously she does have someone who cares about her. The next time you catch yourself overgeneralizing, remind yourself that even though a group of people may share something in common, they are also separate and unique individuals. No two people are exactly the same. There may be mean and superficial people in this world. There may even be people who dislike you. But, not every person will fit this description. By assuming that everyone doesn't like you, you are building a wall that will prevent you from having what you crave the most -- friendship.
Mental Filter:
Mary is having a bad day. As she drives home, another driver cuts her off. She grumbles to herself that there are nothing but rude and insensitive people in her town. Later, a kind gentleman waves her go ahead of him. She continues on her way still angry at how rude all the people in her city are.
When a person falls victim to mental filters they are mentally singling out only the bad events in their lives and overlooking the positive. Learn to look for that silver lining in every cloud. It's all about how you choose to let events effect you. Mary could have turned her whole day around if she had paid attention to that nice man who went out of his way to help her.
Disqualifying the Positive:
Rhonda just had her portrait made. Her friend tells her how beautiful she looks. Rhonda brushes aside the compliment by saying that the photographer must have touched up the picture. She says she never looks that good in real life.
We depressives are masters at taking the good in a situation and turning it into a negative. Part of this comes from a tendency to have low self-esteem. We feel like we just don't deserve it. How to turn this around is simple. The next time someone compliments you, resist the little voice inside that says you don't deserve it. Just say "thank you" and smile. The more you do this, the easier it will become.
Jumping to Conclusions:
Chuck is waiting for his date at a restaurant. She's now 20 minutes late. Chuck laments to himself that he must have done something wrong and now she has stood him up. Meanwhile, across town, his date is stuck in traffic.
Once again, we fall victim to our own insecurities. We expect the worst and begin preparing early for the disappointment. By the time we find out that all our fears were unfounded, we've worked ourselves into a frenzy and for what? Next time do this: Give the person the benefit of the doubt. You'll save yourself a lot of unnecessary worry. If your fears have some basis in reality, however, drop that person from your life like a hot potato.
Magnification and Minimization:
Scott is playing football. He bungles a play that he's been practicing for weeks. He later scores the winning touchdown. His teammates compliment him. He tells them he should have played better; the touchdown was just dumb luck.
Ever looked through a telescope from the wrong direction? Everything looks tinier than it really is. When you look through the other end, everything looks larger. People who fall into the magnification/minimization trap look at all their successes through the wrong end of the telescope and their failures through the other end.
What can you do to stay away from this error? Remember the old saying, "He can't see the forest for the trees?" When one mistake bogs us down, we forget to look at the overall picture. Step back and look at the forest now and then. Overall, Scott played a good game. So what if he made a mistake?
Emotional Reasoning:
Laura looks around her untidy house and feels overwhelmed by the prospect of cleaning. She feels that it's hopeless to even try to clean.
Laura has based her assessment of the situation on how it makes her feel not how it really is. It may make her feel bad to think of the large task ahead of her, but is it really hopeless? In reality, cleaning her house is a doable task. She just doesn't feel up to it. She has reached the conclusion that it is useless to try based on the fact that it overwhelms her.
When a situation feels overwhelming, try this: Break down the task down into smaller ones. Then prioritize what is most important to you. Now, do the first task on your list. Believe it or not, you will begin to feel better and ready for more. The important thing is to just do something towards your goal. No matter how small, it's a start and will break you out of feeling helpless.
Should Statements:
David is sitting in his doctor's waiting room. His doctor is running late. David sits stewing, thinking, "With how much I'm paying him, he should be on time. He ought to have more consideration." He ends up feeling bitter and resentful.
We all think things should be a certain way, but let's face it, they aren't. Concentrate on what you can change and if you can't change it, accept it as part of life and go on. Your mental health is more important than "the way things should be."
Labeling and Mislabeling:
Donna just cheated on her diet. I'm a fat, lazy pig she thinks.
What Donna has done is label herself as lazy and hopeless. She most likely will reason that since she can't lose weight, she may as well eat. She has now effectively trapped herself by living up to the label she placed on herself. When we label ourselves, we set ourselves up to become whatever that label entails. This can just as easily work to our advantage.
Here's what Donna could have done to make labeling work in her favor. She could have considered the fact that up until now she has been strong. She could then forgive herself for only being human and acknowledge that she has been working hard to lose weight and has been succeeding. This is a temporary setback that she can overcome. Overall, she is a strong person and has proven it by her successful weight loss. With this type of positive thinking, Donna will feel better and be back to work on her weight loss goals in no time.
Personalization:
Jean's son is doing poorly in school. She feels that she must be a bad mother. It's all her fault that he isn't studying.
Jean is taking all the responsibility for how her son is doing in school. She is failing to take into consideration that her son is an individual who is ultimately responsible for himself. She can do her best to guide him, but in the end he controls his actions. Next time you find yourself doing this, ask yourself, "Would I take credit if this person were doing something praiseworthy? Chances are you'd say, "No, he accomplished that by himself." So why blame yourself when he does something not-so praiseworthy? Beating yourself up is not going to change his behavior. Only he can do that.
The solutions I've presented here are some of the common situations we find ourselves in. Take these as examples and create your own positive solutions to your negative thoughts. Recognizing that you do it is the first step. Then play devil's advocate and challenge yourself to find the positive. Turn your thoughts around and your moods will follow suit. Remember, you are what you think!
In many cases, depression actually is the result of habitual negative thoughts. When bad things happen, we begin chastising ourselves with thoughts such as: I'm no good, I'm a total failure or Nothing ever goes my way. Our feelings follow what we are thinking, and negative thoughts like these can send us spiraling down into depression.
This concept is the guiding principle behind cognitive therapy, a type of psychotherapy developed by psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck in the 1960s. If we think something often enough, we begin to believe it's true and our feelings match what we are thinking about ourselves. To conquer depression, we must stop those automatic negative thoughts and replace them with more positive, truthful ones. By nipping these thoughts in the bud, we can halt depression before it even starts.
Cognitive therapy is directed at 10 common cognitive distortions, or faulty thought patterns, that send us into depression. See if you recognize yourself in any of these.
- All-or-Nothing Thinking: John recently applied for a promotion in his firm. The job went to another employee with more experience. John wanted this job badly and now feels that he will never be promoted. He feels that he is a total failure in his career.
- Overgeneralization: Linda is lonely and often spends most of her time at home. Her friends sometimes ask her to come out for dinner and meet new people. Linda feels that that is it useless to try to meet people. No one really could like her. People are all mean and superficial anyway.
- Mental Filter: Mary is having a bad day. As she drives home, a kind gentleman waves her to go ahead of him as she merges into traffic. Later in her trip, another driver cuts her off. She grumbles to herself that there are nothing but rude and insensitive people in her city.
- Disqualifying the Positive: Rhonda just had her portrait made. Her friend tells her how beautiful she looks. Rhonda brushes aside the compliment by saying that the photographer must have touched up the picture. She never looks that good in real life, she thinks.
- Jumping to Conclusions: Chuck is waiting for his date at a restaurant. She's now 20 minutes late. Chuck laments to himself that he must have done something wrong and now she has stood him up. Meanwhile, across town, his date is stuck in traffic.
- Magnification and Minimization: Scott is playing football. He bungles a play that he's been practicing for weeks. He later scores the winning touchdown. His teammates compliment him. He tells them he should have played better; the touchdown was just dumb luck.
- Emotional Reasoning: Laura looks around her untidy house and feels overwhelmed by the prospect of cleaning. She feels that it's hopeless to even try to clean.
- Should Statements: David is sitting in his doctor's waiting room. His doctor is running late. David sits stewing, thinking, "With how much I'm paying him, he should be on time. He ought to have more consideration." He ends up feeling bitter and resentful.
- Labeling and Mislabeling: Donna just cheated on her diet. I'm a fat, lazy pig, she thinks.
- Personalization: Jean's son is doing poorly in school. She feels that she must be a bad mother. She feels that it's all her fault that he isn't studying.
If you recognize any of these behaviors in yourself, then you're halfway there. Here's a homework assignment for you: Over the next few weeks, monitor the self-defeating ways in which you respond to situations. Practice recognizing your automatic responses. Now, we will take each of the above cognitive distortions and discuss some powerful coping strategies that will help you dispel the blues before they even start.
All-or-Nothing Thinking:
John recently applied for a promotion in his firm. The job went to another employee with more experience. John wanted this job very badly and now feels that he will never be promoted. He feels that he is a total failure in his career.
This type of thinking is characterized by absolute terms like always, never, and forever. Few situations are ever this absolute. There are generally gray areas. Eliminate these absolute terms from your vocabulary except for the cases where they truly apply. Look for a more accurate description of the situation. Here's an example of self-talk that John could have used to cope with not getting that promotion:
"I wanted this job a lot, but it went to someone with more experience. This is disappointing to me, but it doesn't mean I'm not a good employee. Other opportunities will be available in the future. I'll keep working on my skills so that I'll be ready for them when they arrive. This one setback does not mean my career is over. Overall, I have excelled in my work."
Overgeneralization:
Linda is lonely and often spends most of her time at home. Her friends sometimes ask her to come out for dinner and meet new people. Linda feels that that is it useless to try to meet people. No one really could like her. People are all mean and superficial anyway.
When one overgeneralizes, one takes an isolated case or cases and assumes that all others are the same. Are people really all mean and superficial and could never like her? What about her friends who are trying to get her to go out? Obviously she does have someone who cares about her. The next time you catch yourself overgeneralizing, remind yourself that even though a group of people may share something in common, they are also separate and unique individuals. No two people are exactly the same. There may be mean and superficial people in this world. There may even be people who dislike you. But, not every person will fit this description. By assuming that everyone doesn't like you, you are building a wall that will prevent you from having what you crave the most -- friendship.
Mental Filter:
Mary is having a bad day. As she drives home, another driver cuts her off. She grumbles to herself that there are nothing but rude and insensitive people in her town. Later, a kind gentleman waves her go ahead of him. She continues on her way still angry at how rude all the people in her city are.
When a person falls victim to mental filters they are mentally singling out only the bad events in their lives and overlooking the positive. Learn to look for that silver lining in every cloud. It's all about how you choose to let events effect you. Mary could have turned her whole day around if she had paid attention to that nice man who went out of his way to help her.
Disqualifying the Positive:
Rhonda just had her portrait made. Her friend tells her how beautiful she looks. Rhonda brushes aside the compliment by saying that the photographer must have touched up the picture. She says she never looks that good in real life.
We depressives are masters at taking the good in a situation and turning it into a negative. Part of this comes from a tendency to have low self-esteem. We feel like we just don't deserve it. How to turn this around is simple. The next time someone compliments you, resist the little voice inside that says you don't deserve it. Just say "thank you" and smile. The more you do this, the easier it will become.
Jumping to Conclusions:
Chuck is waiting for his date at a restaurant. She's now 20 minutes late. Chuck laments to himself that he must have done something wrong and now she has stood him up. Meanwhile, across town, his date is stuck in traffic.
Once again, we fall victim to our own insecurities. We expect the worst and begin preparing early for the disappointment. By the time we find out that all our fears were unfounded, we've worked ourselves into a frenzy and for what? Next time do this: Give the person the benefit of the doubt. You'll save yourself a lot of unnecessary worry. If your fears have some basis in reality, however, drop that person from your life like a hot potato.
Magnification and Minimization:
Scott is playing football. He bungles a play that he's been practicing for weeks. He later scores the winning touchdown. His teammates compliment him. He tells them he should have played better; the touchdown was just dumb luck.
Ever looked through a telescope from the wrong direction? Everything looks tinier than it really is. When you look through the other end, everything looks larger. People who fall into the magnification/minimization trap look at all their successes through the wrong end of the telescope and their failures through the other end.
What can you do to stay away from this error? Remember the old saying, "He can't see the forest for the trees?" When one mistake bogs us down, we forget to look at the overall picture. Step back and look at the forest now and then. Overall, Scott played a good game. So what if he made a mistake?
Emotional Reasoning:
Laura looks around her untidy house and feels overwhelmed by the prospect of cleaning. She feels that it's hopeless to even try to clean.
Laura has based her assessment of the situation on how it makes her feel not how it really is. It may make her feel bad to think of the large task ahead of her, but is it really hopeless? In reality, cleaning her house is a doable task. She just doesn't feel up to it. She has reached the conclusion that it is useless to try based on the fact that it overwhelms her.
When a situation feels overwhelming, try this: Break down the task down into smaller ones. Then prioritize what is most important to you. Now, do the first task on your list. Believe it or not, you will begin to feel better and ready for more. The important thing is to just do something towards your goal. No matter how small, it's a start and will break you out of feeling helpless.
Should Statements:
David is sitting in his doctor's waiting room. His doctor is running late. David sits stewing, thinking, "With how much I'm paying him, he should be on time. He ought to have more consideration." He ends up feeling bitter and resentful.
We all think things should be a certain way, but let's face it, they aren't. Concentrate on what you can change and if you can't change it, accept it as part of life and go on. Your mental health is more important than "the way things should be."
Labeling and Mislabeling:
Donna just cheated on her diet. I'm a fat, lazy pig she thinks.
What Donna has done is label herself as lazy and hopeless. She most likely will reason that since she can't lose weight, she may as well eat. She has now effectively trapped herself by living up to the label she placed on herself. When we label ourselves, we set ourselves up to become whatever that label entails. This can just as easily work to our advantage.
Here's what Donna could have done to make labeling work in her favor. She could have considered the fact that up until now she has been strong. She could then forgive herself for only being human and acknowledge that she has been working hard to lose weight and has been succeeding. This is a temporary setback that she can overcome. Overall, she is a strong person and has proven it by her successful weight loss. With this type of positive thinking, Donna will feel better and be back to work on her weight loss goals in no time.
Personalization:
Jean's son is doing poorly in school. She feels that she must be a bad mother. It's all her fault that he isn't studying.
Jean is taking all the responsibility for how her son is doing in school. She is failing to take into consideration that her son is an individual who is ultimately responsible for himself. She can do her best to guide him, but in the end he controls his actions. Next time you find yourself doing this, ask yourself, "Would I take credit if this person were doing something praiseworthy? Chances are you'd say, "No, he accomplished that by himself." So why blame yourself when he does something not-so praiseworthy? Beating yourself up is not going to change his behavior. Only he can do that.
The solutions I've presented here are some of the common situations we find ourselves in. Take these as examples and create your own positive solutions to your negative thoughts. Recognizing that you do it is the first step. Then play devil's advocate and challenge yourself to find the positive. Turn your thoughts around and your moods will follow suit. Remember, you are what you think!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Pursuit of Happiness - The movie
I watched this movie last week and it was awesome. Many messages hidden behind the seemingly boring title. Will Smith performed very well as usual. This is a movie about a relentless single parent who tries and gives everything he can to succeed and be able to provide for his kid. He has his dream fixed in his mind and focus on it. NEVER LET OTHERS SAY YOU CAN'T. FOCUS AND KEEP ON FIGHTING LIKE A WOUNDED TIGER AND GET YOUR DREAM!.
Here is the best part of the movie.
Here is the best part of the movie.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Mahatma Gandhi - life story
If you’ve assumed that Mahatma Gandhi was one of the brightest students in class or one of the most outstanding student leaders in his youth, then you may be in for a surprise.
Not only was he a mediocre student, he was a very quiet and shy teenager too. But did that stop him from becoming India’s “Father of the Nation”?
No.
It’s a great piece of news for us! Because, if you’ve been through a similar situation, all is not lost yet! You’re still able to create your own story of victory… just like Gandhi.
A Family Disappointment
Born into a mid-ranking caste family, Mohandas K. or Mahatama (“Great-Souled”) Gandhi had a low self esteem when he was young. Because of that, he seldom stayed back after school to interact with other classmates for fear of being ridiculed at. That was also part of the reason for his early unhappiness in his marriage (when he was 13 years old) as his young bride had difficulty accommodating to his impatient, jealous and demanding outbursts.
He didn’t do well in school either. After struggling to graduate from high school, he moved on to study medicine in a local university only to fail badly and subsequently, forced to quit. At that time, he had only attended that university for only 5 months.
In their desperate bid to help the young man, his family decided to send him to England to study law, a course that they believed he would be able to cope. They pooled all the financial resources that they could get and finally sent the excited Gandhi off to London to embark on a fresh new start.
Life In London
A stranger in a foreign land, Gandhi had difficulty adjusting to the seasonal weather in London and would often be teased for his inappropriate seasonal attire and his poor command of the English language. To make up for all those, he worked very hard, trying to excel in both his studies and other curricular activities such as French, dancing, violin and elocution. He also tried to improve on his dressing by buying more suits.
Those proved to be short lived as he found himself running out of money gradually.
To cut costs, he gave up his hotel for a small room and walked instead of traveling on buses. He also changed his diet, switching English meals for simple vegetarian fare. Interestingly, those newly adopted lifestyle habits formed the basis of his lessons on health and simple living subsequently.
His Debut in the Court
During those times in London, Gandhi couldn’t wait to return home. The day after he passed his exams and was appointed to the bar, he made his trip back, only to be notified that his beloved mother had passed away while he was still traveling.
He then decided to leave for Bombay where he would not be reminded of his grief, to practice law. Sadly, life struck back again. Due to his inadequate knowledge about the Indian law, he had difficulty getting a case. Even when he finally secured one, he had stage fright at the last moment and abandon the courtroom abruptly, leaving his colleague to conduct the cross examination. It was a disgraceful debut.
Turning Point
His inability to succeed as a lawyer drove Gandhi back home again. With the help of his brother, Gandhi decided to go South Africa and take up a clerical position, at the expense of leaving his wife and 2 sons behind after barely 2 years back home.
But it wasn’t all that smooth sailing in South Africa either. Instead of landing on a clerical position, he realized that he was engaged for a civil suit that required strong accounting knowledge and detailed legal analysis. The realities of the life and the harsh discrimination against Indians in the country cornered Gandhi into making a decision whether he should pack his bags and leave South Africa or stay on to fight the case, until one day something happened.
While riding on the first class carriage on the train to another town, he was ordered to move to the freight compartment. When he refused, he was unceremoniously driven off the carriage. As he waited in the station for the next available coach, thoughts of his present circumstances flooded his mind. It suddenly dawned on him that despite changing his environment each time, he was still unable to avoid the challenging issues ahead. He realized that it was cowardice of him to shun away from his fears instead of helping the people to fight for the rights they deserve!
A Lawyer, A Human Rights Campaigner
Gandhi then started working hard on the case, drilling into the details zestfully. With his diligence and perseverance, he learned a lot about the case and counteracted against the punitive nature of the lawsuit by persuading his client and the other party to settle on an amicable reconciliation out of court.
His apt handling of the suit earned the respect of the Indian community so much so that he was asked to delay his departure back home to help them on another case to fight for the rights of Indian settlers in the country. That catalyzed his involvement into politics.
He would propose political negotiations with British leaders whom he regarded as his equal, work with people from different castes, religions and nationalities to achieve harmony in coexistence, fight for his country’s independence and set the highest standards for his people. All his work for civil rights, India’s Independence and active propagation of love and peace wouldn’t have been possible if not for his firm conviction that all people possess the innate capability to change from within, in the pursuit of what’s right.
What Did we Learn From This Story?
That the person you see in the mirror everyday while brushing your teeth, combing your hair etc is the person responsible for your life. Yes. That, is none other than yourself.
(1) Your Innate Potential Can Be Unlocked By Yourself
Who would have imagined that the shy and introverted boy who refused to stay back after school to interact with his classmates for fear of being laughed at, to be able to speak with such eloquence and persuasion, winning over the whole nation in his pursuit for India’s independence? Who would have expected the young timid lawyer who scrammed the courtrooms at the slightest tinge of fear to be able to stand up against tyranny and injustice?
It would be after the fact irony to say that someone probably did. That Gandhi had the good fortune to meet a good mentor who was able to see the potential in him that others didn’t. But the truth was, there was no such person in his life at that time.
But Gandhi didn’t wait.
He chose to be the miner and let the bolt of realization at the train station’s waiting area guide him in unearthing and polishing the gem hidden in a tad of dirty mud. Himself.
What about you? Did you choose to wait and see if there’s opportunities for you to develop yourself or actively seek to find such opportunities?
(2) Stop Blaming & Take Accountability
We live in a blame society.
We blame the fast food chains for producing junk food that makes people obese. But we ignored the fact that people willingly subject themselves to eating such food. We blame the Internet for being a source of violence and pornography for the kids but we forget that it’s the responsibility of parents to monitor and teach their children the right values in interpreting such information. We argue that our current predicament is a result of a lack of certain resources, overlooking the fact that those resources are not necessary to improve our situation in the first place!
In the midst of this blaming culture, it’s easy to possess a distorted view of the issue and fail to notice the essence of the problem, isn’t it? The problem never gets resolved. It just gets bigger.
This is where I think we can learn from Gandhi. Even though he was involved in the blame game in the earlier part of his life, he subsequently took accountability for it. His enlightenment started from the realization that no matter how his environment changed, if his mentality, attitude and internal mettle were still the same, he would never be able to breakthrough the chain.
And when he stopped blaming, the piece of filth clogging his visibility removed itself, allowing him to see the crux of his problem. Himself again.
by Ellesse Chow
Not only was he a mediocre student, he was a very quiet and shy teenager too. But did that stop him from becoming India’s “Father of the Nation”?
No.
It’s a great piece of news for us! Because, if you’ve been through a similar situation, all is not lost yet! You’re still able to create your own story of victory… just like Gandhi.
A Family Disappointment
Born into a mid-ranking caste family, Mohandas K. or Mahatama (“Great-Souled”) Gandhi had a low self esteem when he was young. Because of that, he seldom stayed back after school to interact with other classmates for fear of being ridiculed at. That was also part of the reason for his early unhappiness in his marriage (when he was 13 years old) as his young bride had difficulty accommodating to his impatient, jealous and demanding outbursts.
He didn’t do well in school either. After struggling to graduate from high school, he moved on to study medicine in a local university only to fail badly and subsequently, forced to quit. At that time, he had only attended that university for only 5 months.
In their desperate bid to help the young man, his family decided to send him to England to study law, a course that they believed he would be able to cope. They pooled all the financial resources that they could get and finally sent the excited Gandhi off to London to embark on a fresh new start.
Life In London
A stranger in a foreign land, Gandhi had difficulty adjusting to the seasonal weather in London and would often be teased for his inappropriate seasonal attire and his poor command of the English language. To make up for all those, he worked very hard, trying to excel in both his studies and other curricular activities such as French, dancing, violin and elocution. He also tried to improve on his dressing by buying more suits.
Those proved to be short lived as he found himself running out of money gradually.
To cut costs, he gave up his hotel for a small room and walked instead of traveling on buses. He also changed his diet, switching English meals for simple vegetarian fare. Interestingly, those newly adopted lifestyle habits formed the basis of his lessons on health and simple living subsequently.
His Debut in the Court
During those times in London, Gandhi couldn’t wait to return home. The day after he passed his exams and was appointed to the bar, he made his trip back, only to be notified that his beloved mother had passed away while he was still traveling.
He then decided to leave for Bombay where he would not be reminded of his grief, to practice law. Sadly, life struck back again. Due to his inadequate knowledge about the Indian law, he had difficulty getting a case. Even when he finally secured one, he had stage fright at the last moment and abandon the courtroom abruptly, leaving his colleague to conduct the cross examination. It was a disgraceful debut.
Turning Point
His inability to succeed as a lawyer drove Gandhi back home again. With the help of his brother, Gandhi decided to go South Africa and take up a clerical position, at the expense of leaving his wife and 2 sons behind after barely 2 years back home.
But it wasn’t all that smooth sailing in South Africa either. Instead of landing on a clerical position, he realized that he was engaged for a civil suit that required strong accounting knowledge and detailed legal analysis. The realities of the life and the harsh discrimination against Indians in the country cornered Gandhi into making a decision whether he should pack his bags and leave South Africa or stay on to fight the case, until one day something happened.
While riding on the first class carriage on the train to another town, he was ordered to move to the freight compartment. When he refused, he was unceremoniously driven off the carriage. As he waited in the station for the next available coach, thoughts of his present circumstances flooded his mind. It suddenly dawned on him that despite changing his environment each time, he was still unable to avoid the challenging issues ahead. He realized that it was cowardice of him to shun away from his fears instead of helping the people to fight for the rights they deserve!
A Lawyer, A Human Rights Campaigner
Gandhi then started working hard on the case, drilling into the details zestfully. With his diligence and perseverance, he learned a lot about the case and counteracted against the punitive nature of the lawsuit by persuading his client and the other party to settle on an amicable reconciliation out of court.
His apt handling of the suit earned the respect of the Indian community so much so that he was asked to delay his departure back home to help them on another case to fight for the rights of Indian settlers in the country. That catalyzed his involvement into politics.
He would propose political negotiations with British leaders whom he regarded as his equal, work with people from different castes, religions and nationalities to achieve harmony in coexistence, fight for his country’s independence and set the highest standards for his people. All his work for civil rights, India’s Independence and active propagation of love and peace wouldn’t have been possible if not for his firm conviction that all people possess the innate capability to change from within, in the pursuit of what’s right.
What Did we Learn From This Story?
That the person you see in the mirror everyday while brushing your teeth, combing your hair etc is the person responsible for your life. Yes. That, is none other than yourself.
(1) Your Innate Potential Can Be Unlocked By Yourself
Who would have imagined that the shy and introverted boy who refused to stay back after school to interact with his classmates for fear of being laughed at, to be able to speak with such eloquence and persuasion, winning over the whole nation in his pursuit for India’s independence? Who would have expected the young timid lawyer who scrammed the courtrooms at the slightest tinge of fear to be able to stand up against tyranny and injustice?
It would be after the fact irony to say that someone probably did. That Gandhi had the good fortune to meet a good mentor who was able to see the potential in him that others didn’t. But the truth was, there was no such person in his life at that time.
But Gandhi didn’t wait.
He chose to be the miner and let the bolt of realization at the train station’s waiting area guide him in unearthing and polishing the gem hidden in a tad of dirty mud. Himself.
What about you? Did you choose to wait and see if there’s opportunities for you to develop yourself or actively seek to find such opportunities?
(2) Stop Blaming & Take Accountability
We live in a blame society.
We blame the fast food chains for producing junk food that makes people obese. But we ignored the fact that people willingly subject themselves to eating such food. We blame the Internet for being a source of violence and pornography for the kids but we forget that it’s the responsibility of parents to monitor and teach their children the right values in interpreting such information. We argue that our current predicament is a result of a lack of certain resources, overlooking the fact that those resources are not necessary to improve our situation in the first place!
In the midst of this blaming culture, it’s easy to possess a distorted view of the issue and fail to notice the essence of the problem, isn’t it? The problem never gets resolved. It just gets bigger.
This is where I think we can learn from Gandhi. Even though he was involved in the blame game in the earlier part of his life, he subsequently took accountability for it. His enlightenment started from the realization that no matter how his environment changed, if his mentality, attitude and internal mettle were still the same, he would never be able to breakthrough the chain.
And when he stopped blaming, the piece of filth clogging his visibility removed itself, allowing him to see the crux of his problem. Himself again.
by Ellesse Chow
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Thomas Alva Edison - life story
Does anyone know that Thomas Alva Edison created more than eight hundred light globes before he made one that finally worked? By a small carbonized filament and an improved vacuum inside the globe, he was finally able to produce a reliable, long-lasting source of light on lower current electricity.
When Edison was seven years old, he has already developed a fascination for anything involve mechanically and chemical experiments. At the local schoolhouse, after enduring his persistent questioning and self-centered behavior, his short-tempered teacher eventually declared that his brains were either addled or scrambled.
His furious mother quickly took him home and began to tutor him herself. She was convinced that her son unusual demeanor and hyperactive behavior were just signs of his remarkable intelligence.
Although Edison had only three months of formal schooling, it did not deter him from finding ways via independent self-instruction to appease his ever huge appetite for knowledge in contemporary mathematics, physics and engineering.
Before he began his career as an inventor, he sold newspaper and candy on trains running from station to station. He became a skillful telegrapher after being trained for only three months. Telegraphy related inventions were some of his earliest master pieces.
Armed with an immeasurable patience and a kaleidoscopic mind teamed with photographic memory, his highly individualistic style of acquiring knowledge led him to scores of experiments and eventually his own related theories.
By the turn of the 20th century, Thomas Alva Edison is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history. He had developed hundreds of devices and gadgets that improved lives around the world. In addition, he was often credited with the creation of the first industrial research laboratory which was build in Menlo Park, New Jersey.
Among Edison's most famous inventions is the first practical and long-lasting light bulb. He also refined and developed other gadgets such as the phonograph, typewriter and the motion picture projector/ camera.
All these happened despite being partially deaf. In fact, his handicap did not hinder him from pursuing his dreams to invent. Instead, his deafness allegedly aided him because it blocked out noises that disturbed him and his work. He turned his limitations to strength to achieve success that most people would have lost hope for.
How often are we faced with difficulties and problems in our daily life? And how often did they slow us down in our progress? Did we treat them as challenges and play them to our advantage like the way Edison has done? Or did we stop what we are doing and give up trying?
by Eric Chay
When Edison was seven years old, he has already developed a fascination for anything involve mechanically and chemical experiments. At the local schoolhouse, after enduring his persistent questioning and self-centered behavior, his short-tempered teacher eventually declared that his brains were either addled or scrambled.
His furious mother quickly took him home and began to tutor him herself. She was convinced that her son unusual demeanor and hyperactive behavior were just signs of his remarkable intelligence.
Although Edison had only three months of formal schooling, it did not deter him from finding ways via independent self-instruction to appease his ever huge appetite for knowledge in contemporary mathematics, physics and engineering.
Before he began his career as an inventor, he sold newspaper and candy on trains running from station to station. He became a skillful telegrapher after being trained for only three months. Telegraphy related inventions were some of his earliest master pieces.
Armed with an immeasurable patience and a kaleidoscopic mind teamed with photographic memory, his highly individualistic style of acquiring knowledge led him to scores of experiments and eventually his own related theories.
By the turn of the 20th century, Thomas Alva Edison is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history. He had developed hundreds of devices and gadgets that improved lives around the world. In addition, he was often credited with the creation of the first industrial research laboratory which was build in Menlo Park, New Jersey.
Among Edison's most famous inventions is the first practical and long-lasting light bulb. He also refined and developed other gadgets such as the phonograph, typewriter and the motion picture projector/ camera.
All these happened despite being partially deaf. In fact, his handicap did not hinder him from pursuing his dreams to invent. Instead, his deafness allegedly aided him because it blocked out noises that disturbed him and his work. He turned his limitations to strength to achieve success that most people would have lost hope for.
How often are we faced with difficulties and problems in our daily life? And how often did they slow us down in our progress? Did we treat them as challenges and play them to our advantage like the way Edison has done? Or did we stop what we are doing and give up trying?
by Eric Chay
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Rocky VI - A talk with his son
This is a excerpt of the movie Rocky VI where Rocky Balboa gave his son inspiring words. Life is tough but we should never let life beat us up. We will take the hit. The question is how hard we can take the hit and keep moving forward. Don't blame anybody or anything else for your miserable life. Only cowards do that. The answer is within us.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Two frogs story
A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the
entire time.
This story teaches two lessons:
1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.
Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.
www.scribd.com
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the
entire time.
This story teaches two lessons:
1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.
Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.
www.scribd.com
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